Hi Friends of course yet again self care is in order ,its been a stressfull weekend money wise and emotionally wise,my bank account yesterday was also hacked,in the middle of the night last night I couldnt sleep and phoned lifeline cause of suicidal thoughts ,I wont go into the details there but also wanted to drive around recklessly or aimlessly in the middle of the night ,have reported the hack to my bank but was still felt depressed because of that situation costing a family member a sum of money from their linked account to mine ,anyway lifeline was helpfull but I didnt sleep well for the majority of the night playing and replaying possible scenarios in my head as to whats happend ,whats worse is not being sure that my romantic partner may have hacked my account as part of a scam ,or at least thats what the bank thinks happend and thats more than hard to sit with so Ive been swaying all day between my heart and head and hoping just hoping that it wasnt him that did this,I did go for a drive today as an outlet and have only told one close family member about the hack but again keeping my personal life side of it to self about the stuff in regards to it being potentially from romantic partner ,I cant bring myself to think it was him ,maybe untill I have proof from the bank that it was him , to say Ive felt exhausted and drained is an understatement ,time for a movie or music but most likely a movie and kind of need self soothing type comforts,like warm blankets, hot drinks and comftable clothes and of course hopefully a better nights sleep ,besides this there are other family worries that I must keep to myself as Ive listened to my share of family members issues as of lately , at least today I had a little strength in me return because of a kind family member who took the time to make me feel welcomed and cared for in their home and for that Im gratefull I guess as the saying goes hold onto the good things ,am safe tonight
