rough time

[Sans911]

Goodnight @Former-Member 💕💕💕

[outlander]

yeah they gave a reason @Sans911 but its abit stupid. i cant go into to many details but basically its a family owned/operated bussiness and the 2 of the younger workers have a problem with me and made complaints to their parents etc. it bascally came down to im an annoying person and they dont want to work with me.

it was scary esp since i was on my own (pop was almost inconsolable in the room while i was stuck in the bathroom getting her out) and at that point didnt have my first aid either so was pretty clueless. i dont think ill ever forget it.


not even sure i can put one foot in front of the other right now.


im safe enough even if my brains telling me that i dont want to be. i reverted back to sh as a way to cope with it. i wish i didnt but i guess i cant change that now.

[outlander]

goodnight @Former-Member

[outlander]

thank you for the quotes too @Former-Member i like those ones

[outlander]

Im sorry @Sans911  this is heavy stuff and i know your struggling too. 

Do you want to talk about something else or sitting? Ive made this into a ramble session. Im sorry 

[Sans911]

I agree-it's a bit stupid. And really not nice either. I can't see you as being annoying. Sounds like perhaps they were more annoying than you were. But still, you lost something you enjoyed. And that often hurts. A lot.

First aid is a lot common sense with a little bit of training. I'm quite sure you did everyth, everything you could to help with the situation, so your not clueless. Just young, inexpensived and dealing with a difficult situation. Even with all my nurse training not everything goes to plan or is perfect. All you can do is be the best you in that situation until further help arrives. Your nan was lucky to have I would say.

No, you can't take back sh once it's happened hun. It's a coping strategy like anything else, and while not ideal, it's helped in the moment to ease some tension. Just make sure it's taken care of. I'm hardly one to tell you not to sh, as I just did so recently myself.

And if you can't put oneffoot in front of the other, just make it one pinky toe in front of the other.

[Sans911]

I'm alright lil Sis @outlander at the moment. Definitely better than last week. I probably should have gone to hospital with what happened but I stayed home until the effects wore off. I'm on the way back out of the latest hole. I'd be so much better without these big dips down that happen so often.

Rambling sessions are good, and you hold a lot of stuff back. I'm not tired yet, so ramble away. I want to hear it @outlander 💜

[outlander]

Thanks sis. It helped to get abit out. It does hurt alot proably more so because its combined with everything else. My nan was also like my best and only friend so it is a hard hit too. It only feels like yesterday  it happened. I got to see  her before she passed as she was stable and actually awake. Her face and the way she said goodbye was heartbreaking. I cant and wont get intonit to much though because ill turn into a sobbing mess and i can feel it building up already.

Im glad your coming back up again. I hate those dips. I know they are part of bpd too but they are hard esp those really big dips. Will you be ok with what you had done? Do you think you'll  need  help for it? 

[outlander]

@Sans911  ^^^

💜💜💜

[outlander]

@Sans911  im getting pretty tired now sis.  Will you be ok if i log off? Im still sitting with you always