My Mosaic

[AuntGlow]

Thank you @Bow ☺️

Yes, I can see you have mentioned some triggers... did you notice they quietened at all whilst you were in your arts and crafts group? 

[Bow]

Not really unfortunately @AuntGlow

my arts and craft group can actually be a pretty challenging place to be in on top of what’s already going on inside my head. There is a group of guys that don’t do arts and craft, they gather to play rummyo and they tend to be rather loud as they commentate their way through the game. And there is one lady that often comes to arts and craft and she is rather loud too, which I really struggle. She laughs alot at nothing and starts talking about really random things suddenly- of which were a couple of rather triggering topics for me today. She sat opposite me today! It’s a pretty overstimulating group! When perhaps ideally it should be a bit more relaxing????? 

my heads pretty relentless not much rest from it

[tyme]

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@Bow wrote:

Hi @tyme 

it’s been a struggle. I did get to my arts and craft group and seen my SW briefly but she was busy so I didn’t get to talk to her. 

had some overwhelming and confronting feelings/thoughts this afternoon. Hoping to get to talk to my SW tomorrow and I see my psychologist too 

how are you?

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I'm really really proud of you @Bow . I know how incredibly hard last night was for you. I could 'feel' it through you posts. 

Yet you pulled yourself out to go to your group and you had every intention to speak to your SW and psych.

I really want to acknowledge the strength this takes and want to make sure that you know we can see your efforts.

As for my day, it's been pretty good. I really can't complain about much.

[tyme]

Oh @Bow , I just read about your arts and craft group and how it can be so stimulating and triggering sometimes. 

I had to stop and have a bit of a giggle (not at you), because it reminded me of times I've been in PARCs. Yo uhave some of the most (cough cough), "unique" and "special" people there - all with complex mental health challenges. And look, it can get triggering sometimes, especially in those moments. I can only laugh about it now as I look back. But yes, I've had some really unusual characters I've had to share a house with during those 4-6 week PARC stays!

I just hope you get to take some big breaths as a way to stay grounded.

I totally hear the challenges! I remember once blurting out to someone, "Oh, will you just shut up?!" This was totally out of my character, but because I was so unwell, my threshhold was very limited..

So yeah... when the voices and noise is already so loud in one's head, you really don't need anything more!

Hugs @Bow 

[Bow]

Thanks @tyme  I really did want to talk to my SW today, but there just wasn’t the opportunity to do so. I will try again tomorrow. And I also have my psych appointment which I don’t feel as comfortable or as confident in being able to tell, but will see how I go. 

[tyme]

Maybe tell yourself "tyme is nudging me to go!" lol @Bow 

I really hope you find the strength to do what you need to hun. I recognise how hard things are. 

I hope you can speak to your SW soon. Have you booked in a time to speak to her?

[Bow]

Oh yep I try really hard to extend a lot of grace…. But sometimes when I’m struggling a lot myself it is really hard. I totally understand that everyone there has their own complex mental health issues and that’s when I just need to take a deep breathe and continue doing my own thing @tyme  

hehe I have been very close to saying the exact same thing… I can hear it over and over in my head. I’ve taken a walk outside before. Or I try to remember to take my headphones. But then I feel rude? I don’t talk much as it is… I’m quiet and shy. And when I shove my headphones in that says ‘hey you’re being too noisy’. 

there was a girl there not that long ago who they asked to stop coming because she was very obviously unwell and causing a lot of distress amongst other people cause of her noise. 

back in the day… 15 or so yrs ago I probably wouldn’t of held back. 

it’s the same with psych wards now. They can actually be more problematic and traumatizing for me. 

[Bow]

My SW usually meets me at comm mh and sits and waits with me for my psych appointment @tyme so my plan is to ask her if she has a spare 15mins prior to that to meet a little bit earlier cause I need to talk. So fingers crossed she isn’t booked up. 
otherwise I’m not sure when. Maybe Friday if she is working.

im going to send her a message shortly so when she turns her phone on in the morning she will get it. 

[tyme]

That's amazing you have that support. I know you've mentioned NDIS in the past. Is this still a path you are wanting to pursue @Bow ?

I hope you will be able to talk to you SW before your psych appointment.

I've also been meaning to ask... remember how you fostered those kittens? Do you have anymore?

[AuntGlow]

Gah, that sounds so tough! Does it have any benefits for you right now? @Bow 

I am wondering, what other kind of recreational groups would you be interested in exploring? Does something more soothing come to mind? 💛