9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

[Uggbootdiva]

yay! finally got to a pc and can insert an image (doesn't work on ipad and phone)

Hope the bl00d doesn't disturb anyone too much.

I laughed but also went "totally" when I read it.

@lopy I hate that one, it totally invalidates everything. like you  are not trying like it's all your fault like you enjoy being in that place. and if you just made an "effort" ...sigh. I'm so sorry for anyone who has had that said to them.

It's a bit like the one "have you tried you know, not having a mental illness?"

Cheers.

[PeppiPatty]

dear Loopy,
I take inspiration from you . When I was seeing one person or another about a situation I'm in, I thought of Sane Forums and thought of the different personalities. Not to go off and have coffee with coffee girl or completely promise Kristen that I've forgotten about the book I'm purchasing but I still will get ....or crack jokes with Uggabovita and you or get nice little comments and gentle suggestions from Sandy or Kato.... but just writing down so can get it clear in my head

[PeppiPatty]

Yes. :0)

[CherryBomb]

Bahaha @Uggbootdiva that's gold! I looked over it at work and burst out laughing aloud in a quiet office.

It inspired me to start this new thread and video about joking about mental illness - what are your thoughts about people with lived experiences making jokes about MI in stand-up comedy routines?

[kato]

The absolute worst thing that i have had said to me is:

"You know you must have a really good handle on it, i mean most people with bipolar don't smile much"

Said to me on a Hyper day yesterday when i was enjoying the up feeling i was having, talking smiling laughing, Yeah i thought to myself a real good handle on being Manic, I wonder what they would say if they met me when i was on a depressed cycle???

But how quickly does the situation change, the person in particular then started asking me questions that were a bit more personal regarding medications, therapies the good old "Have you thought of trying this, that or the other"

No of course i haven't thought of trying anything that might actually help me, i must be stupid because i have bipolar, that i wouldn't think of different things i could try to help me manage my mood when it de-stabilisars lmfao

I think what affects me most is people thinking they have the answer, and that i must be a moron to not be able to figure it out, If people actually thought before they opened thier mouths then the comments etc might not be as profound in upsetting someone, then just because they don't have to manage a illness they automatically have the answer to your problem....

That is just something i realized that bothers me about people saying to me about MI

[Alessandra1992]

Aah @Kato, I think people really think they are being helpful or they have no idea what to say, so just babble on with inanities.. Nearly wet my pants laughing with your responses!
I struggled with this too when I was in grips of depression, you just need to go for a walk, its all in your head and the classic from my mum "You always were an over thinker"!
Cheers Ma, of course people who think deserve depression!!
Honestly if I didn't see the funny side I would have been sorely tempted to sink to her level with an emotional tirade..
Fortunately, I gave always been able to talk to hubby who u derstanda sometimes words are irrelevant, hugs help..and acts of kindness...

We have this Forum..so we can all collectively go brick wall..head against it..hello world please stop judging and advising and help the brick wall morph into a lovely soft bouncy wall that can hold me up when I am down and oysh me out when my composure is regained..

[Rick]

Y'know after reading everyones responses and they are many and varied and all a valid, I could'nt help but think

How about teaching folk what to say.

It's always uphill when you teeling people what not to do. It's easier and more fun to explain what to do.

I learned this as a parent. As a parent this is a lot of " don't do this , Don't do that"

When I'm referred as a CONSUMER I simply say "call me a client", or in hospital a "patient".

If I why 

I just say that consumers choose what and how they buy.

I don't get that choice. 

I don't choose to be mentally ill. Therefore I am a client/ patient.

The group sampling on this discussion clearly indicates a worldly intelligent and wise bunch.

I'm impressed. 

People who don't experiemnce this illness trip can't possibly know how courageous we are.

We, who get up, not knowing how we'll feel the day or how often we'll swing that day, we get up in morning and live a life.

We have a new mental health model to work.

The Recovery Model.

It's the most positive model we've ever seen in Australia.

I refer to it as THE GOOD SHIP RECOVERY. I make the decisions, and I pass them onto a crew whose job it is to facilitate those outcomes.

It's a new process

Still working out the kinks and the logistics. We know it'll be cheaper to hire 5 000 new workers in the field over ten years than it will be to maintain the levels of hospitalisation over the same period.

Many of us will remain symptomatic for our lifespan. But recovery is independant of that.

It's quality of life. How worthwhile your life can be.

So remember that when people say the wrong thing.

Tell them what to say. They'll be grateful. If they aren't they are frightened and you can't teach through their fear. So stuff em.

We have a lot of people on our side finally. Some just need to know what to say. 

Rember it your Good Ship of Recovery. You Are the Captain. Captains have to explain their directions sometimes. Better that than end up in the wrong place.

Am I making any sense at all?

Hope does endure

Rick

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Rick,

Yep, you're making complete sense. I appreciate your positive and hopeful attitude. I agree, sometimes we need to lead the change for ourselves by teaching others.

CB

[Rick]

love this

I was asked the other day by someone newly diagnosed.

How can you possibly have empathy and compassion if you are recovering?

The ignorance is everywhere.

A good cartoon is worth a thousand words

Hope endures

Rick