Just checking in.

[utopia]

Haven't started yet  @Faith-and-Hope. Still not sure what to do 

[BlueBay]

Hope you’re feeling a little better @Queenie

take care xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Want to try finger-knitting @utopia ?

[utopia]

Oh that's a good idea.  I can do finger knitting.  Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

[Teej]

Just checking in @CheerBear. I think it’s a tricky time/maybe day for you today. Thinking of you. Here if you need to rant, rave and kick things. Maybe that’s what I need to do to get out of my 'woe is me' funk that’s not so funky. 

[CheerBear]

Guess what I was just doing @Teej? Cropping a photo of a beautiful flower we had in our hands for a moment today to send to you here as it made me think of you 😊 Seeing your message as I was about to post to you made me smile.

So here it is:

Thank you for your check in. It's a tricky time. Things went big belly up this week and went bang next. I am trying so, so hard to stay in today but as it gets closer my annoying head and body are struggling to do that. I think I am managing better this year than last but memories are running at me in a big way and I can't stop them. It's a beautiful sunny day with lots to appreciate and I was enjoying a loud sing a long on a drive with big when, like a jolt out of nowhere, I remembered a moment when something happened and the feelings inside me that were going on. I can see I am in now but feel like I am back there. Things like that are happening lots and it's a bit yuck feeling.

But I am finding and feeling the value of small moments to really, truly appreciate and can see good that's come out of it all, maybe more now than I did last year and that helps. Still want to kick stuff and break things often though 😉

Thank you for listening and caring and for the lovely pics. That bird semicolon 😍 

How are you going? Hugs for the unfunky funk. Thinking of you lots 🤗 (that's the "Teej hug" emoji 😆)

[Teej]

It’s a beautiful orchid @CheerBear. 💜

I totally understand the out of nowhere stuff @CheerBear. 

Its been glorious weather here too. I’ve come down with man flu today (yes I know I’m not supposed to get it but sometimes I do :face_with_rolling_eyes:). Both sons have had it so I got it from men 😳. I’m usually one that sleeps for a day and then it feels more like a woman’s head cold 😜. 

I am really really lost and feel goal less and not sure what comes next. The holidays are a week away here which means all groups stop. I’m in a strange headspace still after last week. It kind of feels like the fork in the road stuff....although on the weekend I didn’t want to even be on the road. 

I hope the days fly past for you now so that the speed humps are more fleeting. I’m so sorry you are going through it. I think someone should invent new personalised calendars that we can wipe out certain dates from. This year for me had a few speed humps I hadn’t experienced before but now they are luckily more just a memory than the total anxiety, emotion fueled stuff leading up and on them. 

PS you inspired me to update my profile pic to something not so dark and to remind me of the little things that won’t be here much longer like daffodils 🌼

[CheerBear]

Oh no with the man flu @Teej. I'd send you some soup if I could. Soup always feels good when sick I think.

I too wish we could wipe out some calendar times. I'd wipe this week and next for sure. The months that followed these weeks were very blurry, right up until we moved in to the new house just before Christmas, but these two weeks are stuck in my mind. I remember the start of it which was the first sign that something big was going to happen. It was such a good night up until then and when it happened it was like time stopped and my world froze for a few days. I'm stuck in days of the week, not dates again which I find interesting and was thrown by last year. I think it's because here where I am, it seems the world goes a little mad for something that's going on and it's hard not to remember it all that way. Last year I wondered how I was going to get through it but one good now is that I know I will get through this time because of last. I'm able to quickly come back from moments my annoying head wanders down the road of tangled memories, but I can't figure out how to stop it from doing that. Some of them are very vivid and scary and it would be great if I could stop it in the first place.

Holidays here too and with that also comes less options and availability for support. It can make things tricky for sure. I've been watching and quietly with you through the big things you've been going through. Forks in the road can feel scary. I'm so glad you're still on a road though. You've held on again Teej and holding on when things are as hard as they've been for you, is massive strength. 

Love love love the new avatar 😊 The bright daffodil against the deep purple - so nice to see. 

Here's a special one. It was taken somewhere that means a lot to me where we've been spending lots of time with people special to us while they go through big stuff too. I sat by them the other day thinking how great they were and wanting to take them in too knowing they won't last much longer (purple in the back also 💜).

💜💛 to you

[Teej]

I’m so sorry @CheerBear. I completely missed responding to this. 

I still remember days as strongly now as dates. Mine happened over the weekend of a family members significant birthday and Father’s Day.

Im thinking the flowers are jonquils. It looks like a beautiful spot. I’m hoping that the stuff someone close is experiencing will improve. It’s lovely that you are spending time there. 

I just wanted to check in and see if you are still going ok knowing the big weekend ahead. I’m guessing that it’s really not helping that you probably can’t avoid thinking about it now. I’m not sure if it will be the same for you but I’m not affected so much by the events that take place every year at that time just more the dates and the days of the week. I’m hoping that will subside for you over time too. 

Im so sorry I’m in such a strange headspace. I’m dreaming so many vivid real dreams. They are not nightmares but like my subconscious playing out all the underlying stresses and fears I currently have, no matter how small. 

[Teej]

@CheerBear

Sending some spring colour for you to help with the cheer in the bear 🤦‍♀️

I used to have this growing and it was a fond memory of spring and my old house