I can’t cope

[tyme]

If I was at risk, then they may contact emergency. However, on my advance statement, there are clear guidelines on how to speak to me and how to approach things when I'm triggered. Hence, it worked out well @Andarna 

I've always had private health, but never used it for MH even though I had cover. All my support has been in the public system. I've had years of psychotherapy. It was the best thing for me.

[Captain24]

I went to work this morning but I got sent home as my medical certificate said I was still unfit for work today. 

My two babies were excited to see me. Their reaction to me being home instead of Mum and Dad picking them up was amazing. It was so nice. 

Since I didn’t have to work, I took myself out for breakfast. I usually go to the village 15 minutes away but today I sat in a coffee shop in town on my own. I think that was an achievement. 

My SI is still pretty bad, I can’t escape it. I’m just trying to distract from it. I did just have a 2 hr nap as I’m stuck in my thoughts, so it too was a distraction. After getting up at 4:45 to get ready for work, it was well needed! 

I have emailed my CM with my thoughts, but also with things that have been nice. Like the moon last night, the sunrise this morning and the layer of fog over town as I was driving back in from work. 

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Captain24,

I hear it's your birthday today. I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope this day is peaceful and comforting for you. You have been resilient and shown incredible strength over the last few months I have known you. 

I am happy to hear you took yourself out for breakfast and are trying to keep busy. That is definitely an achievement. 

Hope your nap was good, and it's so good to hear about the little things you have found comforting ❤️

[Snowie]

Hi @Captain24 

so glad to hear that you got out of the house and out for a bite to eat. Well done hon.

Also Happy Birthday 🎉🎉I hope today goes a little better for you.

sending lots of love and hugs 💕💕

[Captain24]

Thanks for the birthday wishes @Snowie @lavenderhaze.

Ive just come back from having sushi in the park with my parents and all 3 dogs. It was really nice and then we went for a quick walk. 

I also got a phone call and I’ve been suspended from work until I have a clearance to work certificate from the Dr. I don’t see him until Wednesday. I feel it’s not fair. I did say to the guy that call that I was pissed off. I needed work for a distraction from myself.

Mum doesn’t know I went to the hospital the other day so I had to tell her that I failed a drug test. One of my meds usually show up. I can use that excuse until Monday but then I have to hide for the nightshifts. I’m sick of having to lie all the time. But mum would go off if she knew. She would be really nasty. 

Im trying to focus on the positives of today but that phone call has made it harder. 

[SANE-Admin]

Hey @Captain24 ,

Thanks for sharing some of the achievements of today! I hear a lot has happened since 4:45am.

Well done on going out and having some time out! I hope the sun was shining and it was a good distraction.

I'm sure your babies would have been delighted seeing you! I can only imagine their cute little faces when they saw you.

As for being suspended from work, I hear how hard that can be. And adding to that, having to tell your parents something else.

Continue to tell yourself that things will get better, as hard as it may be right now.

Would you consider planning little distractions over the weekend? For example, treating yourself for a walk or brunch? Meeting up with people?

Hugs

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , That was my post above. I was working on the back end of the system and forgot to change the account until after I posted.

[Snowie]

Sometimes those phone calls can catch you off guard @Captain24 I haven't had the same of course, but have had similar in relation to work. 

You have achieved a lot today already, be proud of that.

[Captain24]

I thought I was in trouble until I read it @tyme. I wondered how they managed to understand me! 😂 

I am proud of what I’ve accomplished. I have done a lot and I’m now tired 🥱 So are the dogs. Lunch was really exciting for them. The sun is out and it’s quite a nice day. I have certainly made the most of my birthday.

I need to mow the lawn and wash my car. My friend that lives here is on holidays so I can’t catch up with her. I really need to find the motivation to walk the dogs, they just loved being out today. I do need to find something self care involved. 

Work has gotten to me. It’s a joke. If my house was paid off I’d just walk. The place is becoming unhealthy for my MH. 

I wish things would get better. I’m trying to remember that it’s my fault and the meds will be through my system soon. Plus when I see my GP I can start back on the anti-psychotic. That should help too. 

[tyme]

Hugs @Snowie @Captain24 @Andarna