I know that place @Snowie It is debilitating. I used to think numb was a safer place though - doesn't stop the thoughts but stops us acting on them. It is when we start feeling everything that the pain is so intense that it becomes all encompassing. You helped me through some of those times Hon - so more than happy to do the same for you 
That is not good Hon 
WHat can you do instead of acting on those thoughts @Snowie I know it is not easy but can you redirect your thoughts into something else rather than SH? Even chatting here with us and letting it out in words...
It is absolutely no bother @Snowie We very much care for you and are sitting right with you. So it is too late for today - but that does not mean we are not with you right now Hon. You are very important and very special to many of us here and just as deserving as anyone of our support. Life simply sucks sometimes but we know that Hon - and knowing that also means we get it - so very much here for you and with you
@Snowie Sitting it is then Hon
I have a little fluffball for company - what else is new lol Cat is outside still but should be in soon searching for her night biscuits. She didn't eat all her dinner again tonight but I am not too worried because she was still looking for food - just didn't like what I gave her tonight. I have been giving her a little tinned food with her usual pouches but she turned her nose up at that tonight - little bugger!