Lived Experience Forum

[MessyGirl]

Hi,

New here. I am 30 years old and recently diagnosed with ADHD. On top of ADHD, I also suffer from anxiety. 

I joined to forum  because I feel alone with my struggles. Anyways, while my ADHD diagnosis changed my life, I am still dealing with the things I did before my diagnosis.

Basically, I incurred some debt over the last few years as I tend to be impulsive . I also tend to help everyone else but when I need help I never ask for it. Not much I can do, other than face it head on. Since I started taking medication, I am a lot better now with life admin and emotional regulation. 

What I am struggling with at the moment is forgiving myself and the shame. I guess, I joined this forum so I can discuss my feelings without the shame.

[Jynx]

Hey @MessyGirl welcome to the forums! Glad you found us, this is definitely a judgement-free zone in my experience 😊

And hello fellow late diagnosed ADHDer! It really is a wild ride huh, getting this lil label and suddenly seeing your life from a whole new perspective. Lot's of reflection and adjustments to make - and yeah, having to work through the shame is definitely a process. 

You're definitely not alone in your experiences, and with late diagnosis especially I think it's really normal to have a sort of 'grieving period'. Like for me there was definitely some mourning for the loss of the life I may have lead if I'd known from childhood. So much internalised shame and stigma - it takes time to untangle it all. 

Feel free to join us over on the ADHD thread! You can share some more of your story (as much as you're comfortable with) and there's also memes, resources, and discussion - Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah ADHD!

[MessyGirl]

@Jynx Thank you for your encouraging words.

I am definitely grieving who I could have been, or how I could have been better. While I know I must keep going on, it's just too damn hard.

[Glisten]

👋🏼 Hi @MessyGirl  Welcome to the forum.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 40.

Three generations in my family have ADHD + dyslexia + anxiety.

@Jynx is awesome and has fun threads.

You’re going to be ok.

G

[MessyGirl]

@Glisten thank you for the encouragement. 

I really want to be ok...the start of every journey (sorry if that's corny) is always hardest. I can't help but to feel a sad and sorry for myself. 

[Glisten]

@MessyGirl  You have every right to feel the way you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

@Jynx taught me how to sit with my feelings.

Skills, I learned new skills and I have to exercise them.

Are you coming over to Peer Group Chat?

G

[Asgard]

Hallo there @MessyGirl 

By the way love the name, and when I look at my place I should be really called "very messy guy".  Glad that you have found your way here, because its the perfect place to get stuff off your chest, nothing feels better than letting go and sharing the problem. 

We all do stupid things and stuff we wished never happened, guess what you are human, and humans are excellent at making mistakes.  We all do, but now its time to move on, we acknowledge what we've done and let it go, its in the past  and you have a better future in front of you.  Hope you have accessed @Jynx link, they always have the best advice.  So be nice to yourself, forget about the shame, very much wasted energy, and let yourself be happy.  Thinking of you.........Asgard

[tyme]

Hey @MessyGirl @Glisten ,

Just a reminder that we have a Live Sunday Hangout happening tomorrow at 7pm on the Chatwee platform. 

The topic for this week is The Animal that Best describes me.

https://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/JOIN-US-Live-Sunday-Hangout-7-00-9-00pm-AEST/m-p/1510938/hi...

[MessyGirl]

@Asgard thank your encouraging words. 

[Asgard]

No worries at all @MessyGirl 

Its funny when I type your name, I instantly look at my place and say "Must tidy up today" and of course knowing me, I will put it off until tomorrow.  Anyways just checking in with you, hoping you have a good day today.......Asgard